
“This is Xrorg from planet Qzuygg calling space traveller Zpwrtp, over”
“This is Zpwrtp on Earth, over”
“How is your mission going? Over”
“Good, very good. The natives are friendly. I have been courting them with trinkets. Some of their leaders have taken the bait. I will play along. Over”
“Zpwrtp, when you hand over any valuables to their Queen, make sure she signs over ownership of Earth to you in return, and then let me know when we can collect the planet. Ask if you can take Mars, too, please. Over”
“Thanks, Sir. Many fine natives have shown their willingness to do whatever is needed to gain the earrings. To be fair to all of them and to their creativity, I have drawn a name from this group at random. I am now in a position to commence final negotiations with a lady called Nancy. Over”
“Zpwrtp, please convey my gratitude and let the natives know their removal from the planet will be swift and painless. Xrorg over and out”
“Zpwrtp over and out”
‘their removal from the planet will be swift and painless’
.. the queen always sells out, dammit!